[At the cemetery for a funeral]
John Kelso: Why don't you come in?
Minerva: I never enter the office on Sunday.
Ba-a-d juju.
John Kelso: Hey, Joe, what happened?
Joe Odom: Oh, that Jim Williams went and shot somebody. Canapé?
John Kelso: This place is fantastic; it's like "Gone with the wind" on mescaline. They walk imaginary pets here, Garland - on a fucking leash. And they're all heavily armed and drunk. New York is boring!
Jim Williams: I gave him what he needed, and he gave me what I needed.
The Lady Chablis: It's like my mother always said: "Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it."
John Kelso: Hmm. I'll have to remember that one.
John Kelso: Chablis, I'm... I'm straight.
The Lady Chablis: So am I. Straight back to my house.
Jim Williams: What a genteel way of asking if I come from old money.
John Kelso: Well, are you?
Jim Williams: No, what money I have is about eleven years old.
Jim Williams: I'm what they call 'nouveau riche', but then, it's only the 'riche' that counts.
Jim Williams: Livin' here pisses off all the right people.
Jim Williams: So, which conversation shall we join?
John Kelso: The one least likely to involve gunfire.
Minerva: To understand the living, you got to commune with the dead.
Jim Williams: Sports, truth, like art, is in the eye of the beholder. You believe what you choose and I'll believe what I know.
Mandy Nichols: If you're thirsty, a drink will cure it, if you're not, a drink will prevent it. Prevention is better than a cure.
Billy Carl Hanson: You don't give me warnings, I give them to you, remember, 'cause I can back mine up.